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The
Horror... The Horror...
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Adam
Jahnke - Main Page
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Anchor
Bay Fright Pack: The Devil Made Me Do It
Anchor Bay Fright Pack:
Campy Classics
1973-1988 (2005) - Anchor Bay Entertainment
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Anchor
Bay must really hate the guy who developed DVD packaging. Over the
years, they've packaged their discs in everything from metal tins to
wooden crates to the Necronomicon itself. Now, they're taking on the
box set. Not content to release a set that sits vertically like all
the other boxes, Anchor Bay has introduced the Fright
Pack, six thematically-linked movies in a cleverly
designed box that sits on its side and looks a six pack of beer
complete with a little plastic handle on the top. Sure, one of the
ends is wide open for all the discs to come tumbling out if you hold
it wrong. And yeah, there's no way to display it on a shelf so you
can see all six titles at once. But as a method of repackaging some
older catalog titles and get folks excited about them, it's kind of
cute. Hey, it worked on us. We're talking about 'em, ain't we?
As for what's inside each Fright Pack,
these are the same discs the Bay has previously released over the
years. So if you're a real horror fan, odds are pretty good you've
probably already got one or two of these discs. But if you haven't
and you think you might be interested in them, these are fine ways
to pick up a bunch at once. The selection of films is pretty good,
so if you know you like one of the movies in the box, you'll
probably at least be somewhat interested in the rest. But in each
case, there's one of these things that's not quite like the others.
I know because I've been through each and every one. Armed with two
Fright Packs and two actual
six-packs, I embarked on a beer and blood-soaked marathon of "premium
horror". I may never be the same again.
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The
Antichrist
Film Rating: C
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B/B/C+
Fear No Evil
Film Rating: B-
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): C/B/B+
The first pack I cracked open was The
Devil Made Me Do It, six horror flicks revolving around
the man downstairs, Satan himself. First into the player was The
Antichrist, a 1974 Italian gorefest that Michael Weldon's
indispensable Psychotronic Encyclopedia informs me was the first
Exorcist rip-off produced,
which is a claim to fame of sorts, I suppose. Carla Gravina is the
possessed young woman here, wheelchair-bound after a car accident
and willing to experiment with unorthodox cures including hypnosis.
One session reveals that in a past life, she was a Satan-worshipper
burned for heresy. With this secret unlocked, the gate is open for
the devil to come roaring back into her life, complete with all the
foul language and green vomit you've come to expect.
The Antichrist is a pretty
dumb movie and the similarities to The
Exorcist are painfully obvious. Still, like a lot of
Italian 70's horrors, this has its charms, assuming you think a wild
Satanic ritual/orgy involving a goat that looks like it was directed
by Ken Russell is charming. The disc is pretty good, including a
ten-minute featurette called Raising Hell
that interviews director Alberto De Martino and composer Ennio
Morricone, a TV spot for the original American release of the film
under the title The Tempter,
and a good-sized poster and still gallery.
Off to a somewhat promising start, I continued with Fear
No Evil, a pretty good 1980 mix-up of the horror and high
school genres. Stefan Arngrim stars as Andrew, a shy brainiac whose
awkward adolescent phase is made worse by the fact that he's, you
guessed it, the Antichrist. As Andrew comes into an awareness of his
unholy powers, a trinity of archangels prepare to do battle with him
one last time.
Directed by Frank LaLoggia, Fear No Evil
is fairly original for this kind of fare, staging some good
setpieces against unusual backdrops such as an annual Passion play.
The movie is stylish and moody (I particularly liked the baptism
scene) with a terrific soundtrack including bands like the Talking
Heads and the Sex Pistols and a refreshing sense of humor. Anchor
Bay's disc is loaded with good bonuses, including an audio
commentary by LaLoggia and cinematographer Frederic Goodrich, twenty
minutes of behind-the-scenes footage with commentary, the trailer
and TV spots, another poster and still gallery, and the complete
screenplay on DVD-ROM. Fear No Evil
isn't the best horror movie you'll ever see (the Xanadu
lightshow at the end dates it badly) but it's fun, fast-paced and
worth checking out.
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Hell
Night
Film Rating: F
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B/C+/C
The Church
Film Rating: B-
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): C+/B/D
The same cannot be said for my next choice, the 1981 slasher fest
Hell Night. This is the one
that really doesn't belong here, having nothing whatsoever to do
with Hell except for the title and my suspicion that this is the
movie Satan forces you to watch for all eternity. Linda Blair stars
as a sorority pledge forced to spend the night in a possibly haunted
mansion along with another girl and two fraternity pledges. From the
sounds of it, they're all pledging to the same co-ed house so I'm
not sure how that works. Anyhoo, twelve years prior, the mansion was
the scene of a grisly mass murder and it could be that the survivors
of that slaughter are still in the house. Sure enough, soon the kids
are turning up dead, one by one.
Now I've seen countless slasher movies and usually they've got just
two things going for them: blood and boobs. Hell
Night has neither. This has got to be one of the tamest
slasher movies I've ever sat through. Obviously there's no suspense
or genuine terror. But there's also no creative deaths, no
gratuitous nudity, nothing except for bad surfer boy jokes courtesy
of Vincent Van Patten and the dramatic stylings of Ms. Blair. I
don't know who the producers thought were going to go see this movie
but they obviously didn't have their brows low enough for me. The
disc includes an audio commentary by Blair, director Tom DeSimone
and producers Irwin Yablans and Bruce Cohn Curtis that honestly, I
didn't listen to. I didn't have enough beer to sit through Hell
Night more than once and I think I can pretty well figure
out how the movie was made, thanks. But if you're a big Hell
Night aficionado, it's there for your enjoyment. There's
also some bios, trailers and TV spots to make your Hell
Night complete.
Needing a quick fix to get things back on track, I put in Michele
Soavi's The Church, a 1988
movie co-written and co-produced by Dario Argento. Back during the
Crusades, an entire village of devil-worshippers was slaughtered by
knights who then built a huge gothic church atop the burial pit. Cut
to the present day where a new librarian begins to dig into the
church's secret past. He unleashes the forces of evil and he, the
priests, and a large group of tourists become locked inside the
building to become possessed by demons.
Originally conceived as Demons 3,
the project was rethought as a stand-alone film once Soavi (who
later directed the brilliant Dellamorte
Dellamore or Cemetery Man)
came on board. Unfortunately, it probably shouldn't have been. I'm a
fan of the first two Demons
movies. They're goofy and over-the-top and lots of fun, following
the same basic premise of people locked in a building (a movie
theatre in the first one, an apartment building in the second) and
turning into demons. Eventually, The
Church falls into that same pattern and once it does,
it's kind of nifty. But if that's all that was going to happen
anyway, all that set-up is pretty pointless. Even so, The
Church has a lot going for it, including a good score by
Goblin and Keith Emerson and a very young Asia Argento as a
rebellious teenager. Extras are limited to a trailer and a bio for
Soavi.
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To
the Devil... a Daughter
Film Rating: C+
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B/B/B-
Curse of the Devil
Film Rating: C+
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): C/C/C+
Next up was the swan song of Hammer Films, the 1976 To
the Devil... a Daughter. Christopher Lee is a disgraced
priest with a plan to offer a teenage girl (Nastassja Kinski) as a
sacrifice to the Devil. But the girl's father (Denholm Elliott) has
misgivings and calls upon an occult writer (Richard Widmark) to
protect his daughter.
For a long time, my only memory of this movie was of the old video
box that features Kinski in a red negligee that was literally
painted on (the image is from her nude scene in the movie). Now that
I've finally seen it, I'm of two minds. I like the premise of the
film and the performances by Lee, Kinski and especially Elliott are
all top-notch. But some elements, including a ridiculous monster
puppet that gropes Kinski, are laughably bad. While I'm not usually
in favor of remakes, I actually wouldn't mind seeing a new version
of this movie. It has a lot going for it but as it stands can't
really be considered very good. Anchor Bay's DVD can, however. It
has a very good making-of called To the
Devil... a Daughter of Hammer with Lee, director Peter
Sykes, and many others giving candid recollections of the film and
their opinions of it. The disc also has a trailer, a poster and
still gallery (including that video box that made such an impression
on me), bios for Christopher Lee and Richard Widmark, and a nice
Easter egg interview of stuntman Eddie Powell.
The last nail in this Fright Pack's
coffin is Curse of the Devil,
a 1973 Spanish horror starring that country's leading horror star
Paul Naschy. This is the seventh film in which Naschy stars as
Waldemar Daninsky, cursed in film after film with the mark of the
werewolf. Here he turns into El Hombre Lobo because of a century-old
curse upon his family after an ancestor destroyed a satanic coven.
However, anybody expecting a cool Werewolves Vs. Satanists showdown
will have to keep looking. After the Satanic set-up, Curse
of the Devil is more werewolf movie than occult thriller.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Naschy's Waldemar
Daninsky occupies a unique place in horror history, mixing a fairly
traditional Lon Chaney-style monster with 70s gore and sex. It's an
enduring character and all horror fans should probably check out at
least one of Naschy's movies. Curse of
the Devil is a good a place to start as any. The DVD
includes a trailer, a 15-minute interview with Naschy, and a lengthy
bio and poster gallery, both of which give some much-needed context
to the history of the character.
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Elvira,
Mistress of the Dark
Film Rating: D+
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B-/B/D
Return of the Killer
Tomatoes
Film Rating: C+
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras):
B-/B/D-
Having survived my first Fright Pack
relatively unscathed, I moved on to the second set, Campy
Classics. The box might just as well be called New
World Pictures Presents, as all but one of the discs in
this set hail from the late, not-too lamented studio that was big in
the 80s. If you're familiar with New World, you can perhaps
understand why I approached this set without much enthusiasm. The
studio's globe logo at the beginning of a movie was hardly a
harbinger of quality and the movies in this set can attest to New
World's legacy of crap.
First on deck was 1987's Elvira, Mistress
of the Dark, the big-screen debut for the irritating TV
horror hostess and beer shill played by Cassandra Peterson. Elvira
inherits a spooky house in the small conservative town of Falwell.
She plans on renovating the house, selling it and using the money to
fund her big Vegas show. But her plans are complicated when she
learns her true origins, that she's the descendant of a powerful
witch and there are people in town that want her power.
I went into Elvira without much hope, just a slight glow in the back
of my mind that it might be kind of funny in a dopey way. After all,
co-writer John Paragon did good work on Pee-wee's
Playhouse. I certainly didn't think this would be another
Pee-wee's Big Adventure but I
half hoped it might be as good as "Weird Al" Yankovic's
UHF. It's not. Approximately
60% of the jokes here are centered firmly on Elvira's chest. Even if
you laugh at the first one (and I didn't), I'd be shocked if you're
still laughing at the fiftieth. Most of the movie isn't even
memorably bad, except for the final scene when Elvira finally gets
to do her act in Vegas. This deserves a special place in the roster
of terrible musical numbers. Apparently nobody else thought too much
of this movie, as the only extras Anchor Bay could muster are a
couple trailers and a bio for Cassandra Peterson which is much more
interesting than the movie itself.
Moving on, we have one of the most unnecessary and undesired sequels
ever made, John DeBello's 1988 Return of
the Killer Tomatoes! The country is now tomato-free.
Wilbur (our hero from the original Attack,
still played by Steve "Rock" Peace) now runs a pizza place
specializing in sauces like peanut butter and chocolate syrup with
his nephew Chad (Anthony Starke) and Chad's buddy Matt (George
Clooney). But the tomato menace is looming as the evil Professor
Gangreen (John Astin) is busy creating an army of tomato-people that
will take over the world!
Nobody could be more surprised than me that Return
of the Killer Tomatoes is actually genuinely funny from
time to time. It's hit-or-miss ratio is no higher or lower than that
of the original movie. If anything, the humor is even more anarchic
this time around. The movie is framed as the feature presentation on
a local TV station's afternoon movie. At one point, filming stops
completely when the production runs out of money. And while there's
no 80s synth-pop remix of "Puberty Love", there are still
some pretty funny songs. My favorite was the theme to the film
within the film, "Big-Breasted Girls Go To The Beach And Take
Their Tops Off". Like the first movie, Return
is hurt by the fact that it's simply too long and too repetitive.
Anchor Bay's DVD pulls out all the stops for the extras, including a
full-length commentary/film analysis by George Clooney and his
current producing partner Steven Soderbergh. OK, so that's not true
(although I bet they'd do it if they were asked). All that's really
on here is the trailer, so you'll have to keep waiting for the
Deluxe Edition of Return of the Killer
Tomatoes. I wouldn't hold my breath, though.
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Transylvania
6-5000
Film Rating: D
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B/B/B-
Return to Horror High
Film Rating: F
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras):
B/C+/D-
I really, really didn't want to watch the next disc, Rudy DeLuca's
Transylvania 6-5000. I
actually sat through this turkey in a theatre back in 1985. I hated
it then and I hate it still. Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley, Jr. star
as a couple of bumbling reporters sent by their editor (a "special
appearance" by Norman Fell) to Transylvania to investigate the
return of Frankenstein. They're soon encountering all sorts of
weirdos, including the mayor of Transylvania (Jeffrey Jones), a
sex-crazed vampire (Geena Davis), a practical-joke-loving butler (a
pre-Seinfeld Michael
Richards), and a squabbling married couple of hunchbacked servants
(John Byner and Carol Kane).
Back in '85, I just thought this was a bad movie. Now it's a
mystifying one. How anybody could make such a tediously unfunny
movie with this cast is beyond me. But somehow they managed it. Most
of the cast just looks vaguely embarrassed, as if they just want the
whole thing over with as quickly as possible. Richards comes off the
best, apparently just making up his entire character as he goes
along, and Geena Davis looks hot in her skimpy Vampirella outfit but
even these elements aren't enough to save this. Surprisingly, the
commentary by DeLuca and visual consultant Steve Haberman is pretty
interesting. DeLuca's first choice for the leads were bosom buddies
Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari. They were vetoed when New World execs
complained they didn't know who Tom Hanks was. Anchor Bay also
includes some trailers and TV spots, a still gallery, and some
storyboard art by Haberman that hints at a more sophisticated visual
style than what they were ultimately able to afford.
Having made it through Transylvania
6-5000, I assumed the worst was behind me. But nothing
could have prepared me for the mind-melting awfulness of Return
to Horror High. Crippen High School was once the stalking
ground of a deranged serial killer. Years later, a film crew has
descended upon Crippen to make a movie based on the story. To the
surprise of only the most dim-witted, somebody soon starts to ice
the cast and crew of the movie. Within half an hour of this
laborious exercise, I realized I was going to need a lot more beer.
The back cover of Return to Horror High
compares the movie to Scary Movie
and Scream (although the plot
is more Scream 2 or Scream
3). And there's part of your problem. Scream
and Scary Movie are two wildly
different kinds of movies and Return to
Horror High can't make up its mind which one it wants to
be. There are some moments of broad comedy and the casting of
Maureen McCormick from The Brady Bunch
as a cop certainly suggests the out-and-out parody route. But then
there's scenes where they seem to be taking it seriously. Plus, the
way the film is structured, with flashbacks and re-creations and
dream sequences all running up against each other, makes the movie
way more confusing than a horror movie like this has any right to
be. George Clooney makes his second appearance in this set as the
leading man who quits the movie to go do a TV pilot but he's killed
off early on, which suggests that the makers of Return
of the Killer Tomatoes were much, much smarter than the
folks behind this movie. The only extra on the disc is a trailer and
for that we can all be grateful.
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Sleepaway
Camp
Film Rating: C+
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B-/C/C
Vamp
Film Rating: C
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras):
A-/B/B+
The only non-New World movie in the set, and the one that doesn't
quite fit the theme, is Sleepaway Camp.
The only thing it has in common with the rest of these movies is
that it has the word "camp" in the title. Otherwise, this
is a fairly straightforward Friday the
13th clone with no parody or comedic elements. The story
should be familiar to anybody whether or not you've seen a slasher
movie before. The setting is Camp Arawak. A bunch of teens show up
for the summer and start to die.
Sleepaway Camp has a lot of
fans, many of which claim it's the best slasher movie of the 80s.
Personally, I think it's a bit overrated. This is a pretty routine
movie with a couple creative and unusual deaths. What saves it is
the climax, which is as memorable in its way as the misshapen Jason
rising up out of the lake in the original Friday
the 13th. The last scene and specifically the last shot
are so good that you tend to forget and forgive the eighty minutes
that preceded it. Extras on this disc include the trailer and a
commentary by director Robert Hiltzik, star Felissa Rose and "moderator"/uberfan
Jeff Hayes. Hayes doesn't do much moderating here and the one or two
questions he asks go unanswered, while Hiltzik and Rose are both
maddeningly, unnecessarily coy about details surrounding the ending.
Note to all DVD audio commentators past, present and especially
future: if we are listening to you at all, we have already watched
the damn movie! We know what's gonna happen, so feel free to spoil
it all you want! Just had to get that off my chest.
My last stop on the Fright Pack
express (and just in the nick of time... one more set and I'd have
had to join Alcoholics Anonymous) was the very 80's vampire flick
Vamp. A trio of college
students (Chris Makepeace, Robert Rusler, and the Donger himself,
Gedde Watanabe) head to The City in search of a stripper for a frat
party. They find one at the After Dark Club, a body-painted,
red-wigged wildcat named Katrina (Grace Jones) who truly puts the
exotic in exotic dance. The trouble is that Katrina and everybody
else in the club is a vampire. After this discovery, all the guys
want to do is go home.
Vamp is heavily influenced by
Martin Scorsese's After Hours
and it's certainly nowhere near that league. But taken on its own
terms, it's a decent little movie, though your opinion will depend
greatly on your tolerance for all things 80s. The movie has a cool
Miami Vice look, drenched in
vibrant neon greens and magentas, if you think that look is cool. If
you don't, you're really gonna get sick of it. Certainly the most
memorable thing about Vamp is
the bizarre striptease performed by Grace Jones on a set designed by
the late artist Keith Haring. Narratively, it makes absolutely no
sense that three college dudes would think this bizarre performance
artist is the stripper to bring back to the guys, but as a setpiece
in the movie, it's unforgettable. Anchor Bay's disc for Vamp
really is loaded, with an affectionate and interesting commentary by
director Richard Wenk and his stars, Chris Makepeace, Gedde Watanabe
and Dedee Pfeiffer. There's also some wild rehearsal footage with
Grace Jones, a blooper reel, Wenk's memorable short film Dracula
Bites the Big Apple, and the Bay's usual clutch of
trailers, TV spots, posters and stills.
Three days, twelve movies and fifteen beers later, I emerge on the
other side of Anchor Bay's Fright Packs
relatively unscathed. And the verdict? These two assortments are
basically well-chosen with The Devil Made
Me Do It having a clear edge in the quality department.
These are fun, economical ways to pick up a half-dozen movies that,
if you like one or two, you will probably at least have some
interest in the others. Campy Classics
is harder to recommend, simply because the best movie in the batch,
Sleepaway Camp, is already
available in the swell Sleepaway Camp
Survival Kit. If you're a fan, you've probably already
got that and don't really care about Elvira or the killer tomatoes.
On the other hand, if you're a big Transylvania
6-5000 fan, you'll probably get a kick out of some of
these other flicks. |
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Jahnke - Main Page |
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