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 It's
            a Sunshine Disc!
 A Bunch More Cult TV on DVD
 
 Adam
              Jahnke - Main Page
 
 
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            | When
            the old Bottom Shelf begins to
            get swaybacked from all the weight it's supporting, it can only mean
            one thing. Time to clear off some of those heavy TV show packages
            and make way for another semi-regular TVD spectacular 
 
 The Brady
            Bunch: The Complete First Season
 1969-70 (2005) - Paramount
 
 The Brady Bunch: The
            Complete Final Season
 1973-74 (2006) - Paramount
 
 
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            | When
            I was in high school, an English teacher assigned our class a
            project researching the day you were born. I believe the purpose of
            this was to teach us how to utilize library resources. It was one of
            those rare class projects I actually enjoyed doing. But of all the
            things I learned about my birth date, one fact stood out and
            thrilled me beyond measure. I discovered that I share a birthday
            with The Brady Bunch. On
            September 26, 1969, mere hours after I entered the world, Mike Brady
            and Carol Ann Tyler Martin exchanged vows on ABC and have been
            raising three boys and three very lovely girls on television ever
            since. As far as I was concerned, this link between myself and the
            Bradys totally justified all the hours I'd spent watching their
            beyond cornball antics. The rest of you will have to come up with
            your own excuse but for me, it was destiny. 
 If you have somehow managed to live your entire life without seeing
            a single episode of The Brady Bunch,
            I can only assume you were raised in one of those strict anti-TV
            homes that refuse to allow a set into the house for any reason. And
            if you never saw the show as a kid, you probably won't understand
            the fondness many of us have for it. It's one of those programs that
            lie outside of conventional definitions of good or bad. It just is.
            It's what was on in the afternoon and therefore, it was what we
            watched. Over and over and over.
 
 Thanks to the Bradys' eternal life in syndication (and
            creator/producer Sherwood Schwartz's strict adherence to a formula
            that is established in episode 1), it's easy to recall memorable
            Brady moments. But beyond memories of the decorative horse in the
            living room and the Astroturf lawn, it's also often easy to overlook
            the fact that this was originally a series about stepparents raising
            stepchildren. It's interesting to see how many episodes in the first
            season were devoted to this theme. In The
            Honeymoon (the pilot episode), Mike (Robert Reed) tells
            Bobby (Mike Lookinland) that it's OK for him to keep the picture of
            his late mother on display (the lecture apparently didn't take...
            it's the last we'll ever see or hear of this mystery woman). Episode
            two, Dear Libby, has Marcia
            (Maureen McCormick) worried that a letter in a newspaper advice
            column about an unhappily merged family is written by one of her
            folks. Even devoted housekeeper Alice (Ann B. Davis) thinks she's
            about to get the old heave-ho in Alice
            Doesn't Live Here Anymore.
 
 For the most part though, these episodes establish the pattern that
            the series would follow for the next five years with a crisis
            arising from sibling rivalry, half-heard conversations, the battle
            of the sexes and typical family problems multiplied by six. Marcia
            and Greg (Barry Williams) compete for the title of class president.
            The kids run the phone bill up, so Mike installs a pay phone in the
            family room. Jan (Eve Plumb) develops an allergy to Tiger, the
            family dog. The Brady kids all come down with the measles. The
            Bradys go camping. And so it goes in Bradyville. The stories are as
            predictable as the sunrise, the gags even more so. But because it's
            all so impossibly wholesome and cheerful, there's something
            comforting and oddly enjoyable about it.
 
 Fast forward to season five. Tiger has mysteriously vanished without
            a trace. (Rumors of an unaired episode where Tiger and Bobby get hit
            by a semi, only to be resurrected when Mike buries them in the local
            pet cemetery, have so far proven to be unfounded.) Greg has moved
            out of the boys' room and into the attic, after a pitched battle
            with Marcia. Marcia's concerns about her looks (established in the
            season one episode Brace Yourself) have only gotten worse ("Oh,
            my nose!"). Peter (Christopher Knight) has struggled with being
            cast as Benedict Arnold in the school play and built a gi-normous
            model volcano. Jan has had even more problems with Marcia, Marcia,
            Marcia and a torrid imaginary romance with George Glass. Bobby has
            gone on a power trip as hall monitor and together with Cindy, almost
            ruined vacations to both Hawaii and the Grand Canyon. And the
            Peppermint Trolley Company's rendition of the theme song has been
            replaced with the Brady Kids themselves. Yep, it's been a jam-packed
            few years.
 
 Unfortunately, all that comes to a screeching halt with season five.
            Virtually every reason usually given for a show jumping the shark is
            on display in the first five or six episodes of this season. When
            Fonzie tried to make his fateful shark jump on Happy
            Days a few years later, I wouldn't be at all surprised if
            the Brady writers slapped
            their foreheads and said, "Why didn't we think of that? Greg
            could have done that easily!"
 
 In retrospect, this final season may be most memorable for laying
            the seeds that would later sprout The
            Brady Bunch Variety Hour, a misbegotten series so
            surreally awful it would redefine bad television for years to come.
            (Needless to say, a DVD set of all nine episodes of this train wreck
            is number one with a bullet on my list of most wanted discs.) The
            writers took any excuse to get the Bradys singing, dancing or in
            costumes even more outlandish than the 70s clothes they usually
            wore. The kids sing two songs in the opener, in which a sexy talent
            agent (played by Claudia Jennings of all people!) tries to break up
            the Brady Kids amateur singing group and recruit Greg to go solo as
            Johnny Bravo. Two episodes later, Cindy commits the family to
            staging a production of Snow White and
            the Seven Dwarfs in the backyard. In the next episode,
            Bobby's first kiss might give him the mumps... which could naturally
            ruin the family's plans for a big "Roaring 20s" party.
 
 The season's best episodes are those that stay true to the series'
            classic template. Greg and Marcia make a bet over which one is the
            better driver. Jan's manic depression kicks in again when she
            convinces herself that she has no talent. Greg's girlfriend won't go
            out with him unless he can find a date for her cousin, so Greg slaps
            a fake mustache on Pete, dubs him "Phil Packer" and brings
            him along. The Bradys take yet another vacation, this time to King's
            Island amusement park where Mike's architectural plans are lost.
            After awhile, the season seems to find its footing with a return to
            typical Brady hi-jinx. But then, just as things are looking up...
            enter Cousin Oliver.
 
 Yes, Cousin Oliver. Carol's heretofore unmentioned nephew, a blond
            mop-top in glasses thrown in to ratchet up the Bradys' cute factor
            now that Bobby and Cindy were growing up. Sure, there are other
            terrible episodes in this season that have nothing to do with this
            hellspawn. There's Kelly's Kids,
            a virtually Brady-free (and worse yet, laugh-free) attempt at a
            spin-off about a couple who adopt a rainbow coalition of orphans.
            But Cousin Oliver was a pint-size angel of death, a clear sign that
            the show's writers had run out of ideas. The final episode, in which
            Bobby's hair tonic turns Greg's hair orange the day before
            graduation, was so lame that Robert Reed, who had put up with a lot
            of crap over the years, refused to have anything to do with it.
            Which means that "Father of the Year" Mike Brady didn't
            even attend his eldest son's high school graduation. For shame.
 
 Paramount now has the entire run of The
            Brady Bunch on disc, decked out in complimentary packages
            with cool lenticular covers. The video quality of the episodes
            varies quite a bit, especially in the first season and sometimes
            from shot to shot. More often than not, the episodes look quite
            good. I suppose this is the best The
            Brady Bunch has ever looked but when I was watching them
            originally, I wasn't exactly paying attention to their relative
            merits as visual art.
 
 Season one carries along a few nice extras, including a brief but
            enjoyable featurette called Coming
            Together Under One Roof. There are also commentary tracks
            on three of the episodes. Sherwood Schwartz tackles the pilot while
            Barry Williams (Greg), Christopher Knight (Peter), and Susan Olsen
            (Cindy) do the honors on A-Camping We
            Will Go and The Hero
            (wherein Pete saves a girl at Driscoll's toy store and turns into an
            egotistical bastard). Unfortunately, none of the other seasons have
            anything similar for extras.
 
 I'm glad that whenever I go to Target, I see The
            Brady Bunch shelved in their kids' section. It was, after
            all, a family show and I hope it still holds up as one today. In its
            prime, The Brady Bunch was
            silly, harmless fun. Will today's kids still dig their groovy
            adventures? Well, that's up for debate. But if you're a Gen-X
            hipster who grew up on the stuff, you'll be glad to have the Bradys
            on your shelf. Watch it in the family room while you're playing
            checkers.
 
 The Brady Bunch: The Complete First
            Season
 Program Rating: B+
 Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B-/B+/C+
 
 The Brady Bunch: The Complete Final
            Season
 Program Rating: C-
 Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B/B+/F
 
 
 
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 | Tales
                from the Crypt: The Complete Third Season 1991 (2006) - Warner Home Video
 
 Warner Home Video continues to exhume HBO's Tales
                from the Crypt, the ghoulish and gory series based on
                the classic EC Comics stories. After an abbreviated first season
                run, HBO upped their order to 14 episodes per season. To the
                surprise of nobody, the quality of the show became considerably
                more hit-or-miss after that. But the batting average on season
                three is high enough to make it one of the series' most
                memorable years.
 
 That might not be readily apparent based on the first episode,
                Loved to Death, a shrill
                and predictable (even by Crypt
                standards) entry with Andrew McCarthy as a screenwriter in lust
                with his actress neighbor, Mariel Hemingway. But things get
                kicked into high gear with episode two, Carrion
                Death. Kyle MacLachlan stars as an escaped convict
                fleeing to Mexico through the desert. On foot. Handcuffed to a
                dead cop. Grim and very, very bloody, Carrion
                Death is one of Crypt's most enjoyable episodes.
 
 
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            | Other
            highlights in this set include The Trap,
            a dark romantic comedy of sorts that marked the directorial debut of
            Michael J. Fox (who also cameos as a prosecuting attorney); Abra
            Cadaver with Beau Bridges as a doctor out for revenge
            after his brother (Tony Goldwyn) ruins his career with a practical
            joke; Top Billing, about which
            all you really need to know is that it has Jon Lovitz auditioning
            for Hamlet; and Mournin'
            Mess starring Steven Weber as a reporter investigating a
            cemetery for homeless people. Crypt also continued to attract plenty
            of A-list talent this year including Whoopi Goldberg in a
            voodoo-themed episode directed by Tobe Hooper, Malcolm McDowell and
            Tim Roth. Perhaps the series' biggest casting coup was in the season
            finale, Robert Zemeckis' Yellow,
            with Kirk Douglas as a World War I general saddled with a cowardly
            son (played by Eric Douglas). The episode itself is more suited for
            The Twilight Zone than the
            Crypt but its scope and
            ambition amply demonstrated the high level of original programming
            HBO would eventually come to be synonymous with. 
 Warner's continuing presentation of Tales
            from the Crypt on disc has many of the same pluses and
            minuses as season one. Video quality is still kind of muddy, though
            some episodes seem to be in better condition than others. Unlike
            season one, each episode plays the original opening with the
            memorable Danny Elfman theme music (and wisely, these are given
            their own chapter stop so you can skip past 'em once you get sick of
            it). Oddly enough, the season three package is not the exact same
            size as the first season thanks to the switch from a fold-out
            digipak to individual slim DVD cases. It's a minor annoyance but
            rest assured there are those who will be annoyed. Even more bizarre
            is the small collection of bonus material on disc three. The Tall
            Tales panel combines footage from a Crypt
            panel at the San Diego Comic-Con with new in-studio interviews of
            the panelists (including Crypt
            president and raconteur Jack Wohl, filmmaker Chip Selby whose
            excellent Crypt documentary
            was included as a bonus on season one, makeup effects designer Todd
            Masters, writer/producer Alan Katz, Crypt historian Digby Diehl and
            the man behind the Cryptkeeper's distinctive voice, John Kassir).
            The Tales from the Crypt Reunion
            panel is the same Comic-Con panel that was excerpted in the previous
            featurette, here presented in a longer, uninterrupted form. These
            aren't without interest but they're basically the same. In fact for
            the first couple of minutes, they're identical. When I selected the
            reunion panel, I had to stop and go back to the menu because I
            figured I'd hit the wrong option by mistake. Also, the reunion panel
            is weirdly censored with words like "crap" and "shit"
            bleeped out. Something tells me that Crypt
            fans have heard much worse. Rounding out the extras is the Crypt
            Jam music video, a truly dreadful song that reminds us
            all what a terrible promotional idea music videos were.
 
 Season three of Tales from the Crypt
            was one of the most consistently enjoyable from the series'
            seven-year run. I'd still love to see the executive producer team of
            Richard Donner, David Giler, Walter Hill, Joel Silver and Robert
            Zemeckis contribute an interview or two to one of these sets, though
            I'm not holding my breath. Even without them, it's always fun to
            take a return trip down into the crypt.
 
 Program Rating: B
 Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B-/B/C-
 
 
 
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 | Profit:
                The Complete Series 1996 (2005) - Anchor Bay Entertainment
 
 There are two things TV on DVD is good for. The first obviously
                is reliving favorite shows of the past without having to rely on
                network repeats or syndication. The other is allowing you to
                catch up with shows you missed out on the first time. The danger
                here, however, is becoming interested in a series that has been
                off the air for ages and has no chance of coming back. Such is
                the case with Profit.
 
 Profit premiered on Fox
                back in 1996 to rave reviews and an audience you could probably
                count on your fingers and toes. Adrian Pasdar starred as Jim
                Profit, a smooth, scheming sociopath pursuing a ruthless agenda
                to place himself in a position of power behind the corporate
                scenes of Gracen and Gracen. But while there had been similarly
                ambitious villains on television before, primetime had not yet
                seen anyone quite like Jim Profit back in '96. Profit wasn't
                merely manipulative. He was shrewd, cunning and not at all
                afraid to get his hands dirty. Blackmail? No problem. Murder? If
                necessary.
 
 
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            | Oh,
            and one other thing set Profit apart from other TV villains and
            antiheroes before and since. As a child, Jim Profit was forced by
            his abusive father to live naked in a cardboard box, with only a
            television as a window to the outside world. And while his public
            persona was rigorously maintained, at the end of each day he still
            curls up in a box. Toss in his semi-incestuous relationship with his
            drug-addicted stepmother (Lisa Blount) and perhaps you'll begin to
            understand why network television wasn't ready for Profit.
            The show was yanked from the schedule after just four episodes had
            aired. 
 Today, Profit would probably
            be right at home on FX, Showtime or HBO. So, like with many
            groundbreaking shows, Profit's
            edge no longer seems quite so sharp. Sure, Profit
            was several years ahead of its time. But its setting in the
            corporate world dates it, especially whenever Profit logs onto G&G's
            "virtual reality"-style computer system. This was back
            when the word "modem" was still used as a verb, like "fax".
            But once you get past the novelty of the no-longer-cutting-edge
            technology, you'll find a show characterized by terrific
            performances and incredibly smart writing. Pasdar is magnetic,
            manipulating his coworkers like a master chess player. When a plan
            doesn't quite work out, he doesn't panic but a look of total
            exasperation briefly clouds his face as if this new complication
            isn't almost disastrous but just incredibly annoying. He's
            well-matched against Lisa Zane as security chief Joanne Meltzer, one
            of the few people to see through Profit, and Lisa Blount as his
            loose cannon stepmother. Refreshingly, few of Profit's plans are
            predictably devious. They're far subtler and more sinister, often
            having no apparent benefit other than planting doubt in people's
            minds about Profit's motives. The series has a keen grasp of
            corporate psychology, realizing that suspicion carefully planted can
            be far more helpful than facts.
 
 Anchor Bay brings the entire series to disc, including four episodes
            that were never aired on Fox (they'd remain unaired in the US
            entirely until Trio included Profit
            as part of their Brilliant But Cancelled
            series). Video quality can be somewhat fuzzy but it's far from
            unwatchable. Considering the fate of most shows cancelled so
            quickly, it's a wonder these tapes weren't fished out of a dumpster
            on the Fox lot. Adrian Pasdar and creators David Greenwalt and John
            McNamara come together for audio commentaries on four of the
            episodes. The episodes, Pilot,
            Healing, Chinese
            Box and Forgiveness,
            were well chosen, representing the series at its best. The
            commentaries are lively, informative and sometimes frustrating when
            Greenwalt and McNamara discuss some of their unrealized plans for
            future seasons of the show. The third disc also includes a 66-minute
            documentary called Greed Kills.
            Pasdar, Greenwalt and McNamara are interviewed here as well, as are
            executive producer Stephen J. Cannell and co-stars Lisa Blount and
            Lisa Zane. It's an above-average making-of, unavoidably covering
            some of the same ground as the commentaries but including plenty of
            fresh material to make it worth your while.
 
 Given the popularity of shows like The
            Sopranos and The Shield,
            the time is ripe for Profit to
            be rediscovered. I can't say whether or not Profit
            had a direct influence on those series. I'm not sure that enough
            people saw it when it was on for it to influence anybody.
            Regardless, there's no denying that television has finally caught up
            to Profit. You should catch up
            with it yourself.
 
 Program Rating: A-
 Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): C+/B/B+
 
 
 
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 | Errol
                Morris' First Person: The Complete Series 2000 (2005) - MGM Home Entertainment
 
 If you've never seen an Errol Morris documentary, stop reading
                this right now and go watch some. I recommend starting with The
                Fog of War, The Thin Blue
                Line and Gates of Heaven.
                Then once you're hooked, come on back and find out why you'll
                love Morris' foray into television, First
                Person. It's OK. I'll wait.
 
 Welcome back. So, good stuff, right? Yeah, you're welcome. As
                you've just discovered, Morris is fascinated with people who are
                themselves fascinated. You're not going to see an Errol Morris
                movie about some dilettante. Morris' subjects know what they're
                talking about, whether it's Stephen Hawking discussing the
                nature of the universe in A Brief
                History of Time or the topiary gardener, robot
                scientist, lion tamer and mole-rat expert spotlighted in Fast,
                Cheap & Out of Control. It's this last film that
                bears the most resemblance to First
                Person. Utilizing a uniquely mounted camera dubbed
                the "Interrotron", Morris gazes unflinchingly at a
                wide array of people in this series, from consumer advocate
                lawyer Andrew Capoccia to Chris Langan, a bouncer who may very
                well be the smartest man on Earth.
 
 
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            | Each
            of these people has a story to tell and Morris allows them to do
            just that, asking questions only when absolutely necessary and
            trying to keep his personal involvement with the subject to a
            minimum. All of these episodes are interesting but some are
            particular standouts. I Dismember Mama
            focuses on Saul Kent, director of the Alcor Life Extension
            Foundation, the leading cryonics organization in the country. Kent
            became a controversial figure in 1994 when he hid his mother's
            frozen head during a coroner's investigation into her death. In The
            Stalker, we hear from Bill Kinsley, a former postmaster
            who became a scapegoat after an employee he'd fired, Thomas
            McIlvane, killed three people in a Michigan post office. Antonio
            Mendez is The Little Gray Man,
            a retired CIA operative who reveals startling secrets about how not
            to be seen. 
 Perhaps First Person's finest hour is Leaving
            the Earth, the incredibly moving story of Denny Fitch.
            Fitch is a pilot who was a passenger on board a Denver-to-Chicago
            flight in 1989 when the impossible happened. The airplane's
            hydraulics failed, leaving the craft virtually impossible to
            control. Fitch's story is gripping from start to finish and Morris
            gives him the space to tell it. When Morris ultimately cuts to news
            footage of the plane coming in for a landing, you feel like you're
            on board. I think I actually gasped out loud watching this one.
 
 MGM has put all seventeen episodes of the show's two seasons onto
            three discs. They're presented in anamorphic widescreen and look
            generally quite good. Audio is a little on the uneven side but not
            dramatically so. Unfortunately, no extras are included at all.
 
 First Person was an ambitious
            experiment in bringing Morris' documentary style to the small screen
            that mostly works. At their best, these episodes make you forget
            you're watching television. These are 17 mini-movies, often just as
            compelling as Morris' big-screen work.
 
 Program Rating: A-
 Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B+/B-/F
 
 
 
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 | The
                Andy Milonakis Show: The Complete First Season 2005 (2006) - Paramount Home Video
 
 In my day, there was a cable network called MTV that played
                music videos. We thought it was pretty cool back then.
                Eventually, MTV decided to drop the videos in favor of such
                quality original programming as The
                Real World. The music video baton was passed to MTV2.
                Now it seems that the lowly music video is getting phased out
                once again as MTV2 has become home to original programs like
                Wonder Showzen and The
                Andy Milonakis Show.
 
 Andy Milonakis looks like he's about 15 or 16 (potential spoiler
                alert: he's not... this isn't a plot point but knowing that he's
                actually 30 definitely colors how you view the show) and his
                show presents him and his neighbors in his Lower East Side
                neighborhood performing various sketches, pranks and freestyle
                raps. To say that the sketches are surreal would be to give them
                too much credit. They're absurd, sure, but extremely random and
                pointless.
 
 
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            | The
            Andy Milonakis Show is one of those programs that's
            probably a lot funnier if you just stumble across it in the middle
            of the night, preferably drunk. There's nothing wrong with a show
            like that. Hell, I wrote one myself (Troma's
            Edge TV, which you can now also watch while sober on DVD
            and realize it's not as funny as it was when you were drunk). But
            shows like this rarely hold up on disc and this one is no exception. 
 Some of Andy's stuff is genuinely funny. I enjoyed the sketch with
            him giving out smiley-face balloons to strangers on the street while
            saying things like "It's always raining in my mind!"
            There's a recurring bit with Andy's doppelganger, a guy who shows up
            at random holding a big fish and smoking a cigarette, that made me
            laugh every time. But for a show that's supposedly so freeform, it's
            shocking how quickly it settles into repetition. Every episode has
            Andy freaking out a delivery guy with random stunts like asking him
            to smear peanut butter on his face while he's tied to a chair.
            Virtually every episode has a celebrity guest like John Stamos stuck
            in a tree or the Black Eyed Peas emerging from a can of actual black
            eyed peas (and subsequently being eaten). You may laugh at some of
            this the first time. It's doubtful you'll still be laughing quite as
            hard the tenth.
 
 Paramount's two-disc season one set presents all eight episodes in
            their original low-tech glory. They look and sound better than
            public access programming but don't go into this expecting
            state-of-the-art production values. The extras are plentiful but a
            mixed bag when you have to actually sit and watch them. Episode one
            has a commentary by Richard Huff, a New York Daily News reporter who
            wrote the first review of the show and despised it. This track is a
            missed opportunity, mainly for Huff. He could have pointed out
            specifically what was wrong with the show but instead makes some
            sweeping generalizations, none of which are necessarily wrong but
            still won't convince anybody who likes the show that he's right and
            they're not. The other seven episodes feature commentaries by Andy
            and his neighbors-cum-costars, Ralphie, Larry and Rivka. If you
            think the show's annoying on its own, try to watch it with these
            playing over it. On one episode, Andy and Ralphie attempt to do the
            entire commentary as a freeform rap. If you make it through this
            whole thing without aspirin, you have a head of steel. Another
            episode has Ralphie attempting to eat an entire large pizza in 20
            minutes, the length of the episode. This one comes as an
            alternate-angle video option, so we can actually watch him scarf the
            pie down. Lucky us.
 
 The rest of the extras include outtakes of Ralphie flubbing a line
            repeatedly, a collection of sketches "too stupid" to make
            it to broadcast (quite a claim), a faux featurette called Andy
            Goes to Hollywood where Ralphie, Larry and Rivka are
            dismayed to see their old friend has let success go to his head, and
            a collection of on-camera interviews with the cast. None of this
            provides much insight into the making of the show, although the
            outtakes do suggest that this must be the most patient crew on
            television, and precious little of it is particularly funny. Oh, and
            if there's a DVD out there with more grating menus than this one,
            please lord let me avoid it.
 
 The Andy Milonakis Show has a
            devoted audience, primarily among junior high kids as near as I can
            tell, and I'm sure they'll be tickled rosy with this set. But if
            you've had just a small taste of Andy, either through this show, his
            appearances on Jimmy Kimmel Live
            or on the net, make sure you're really a fan before plunking down
            your cash for the DVD. You might just be in for a rude awakening.
 
 Program Rating: C-
 Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras): B/B/A (for quantity and effort)
            - D+ (for execution)
 
 Adam Jahnke
 ajahnke@thedigitalbits.com
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 Adam
          Jahnke - Main Page
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